I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
