If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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