JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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