Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
