does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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