for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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