Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
