the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
