I accidentally had phone sex last night
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
