My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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