People in love make me want to vomit
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize