A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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