I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
