and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
