I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
