I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
