Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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