i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
