What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
