My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
