why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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