Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
