Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
