I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
