turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I can't turn off my feet"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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