so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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