So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
