He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im having a threesome with these popsicles
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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