That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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