ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
