Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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