Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
