mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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