is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize