haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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