We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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