You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If that was your dad, he is hot
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize