I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
