In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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