she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
