Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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