..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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