no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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