I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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