just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
