Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
