I cockslap morals
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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