Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
