Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Randomize