what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
