he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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