Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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