How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i would one night stand the shit outta him
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
