I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
