I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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