**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize