I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
