Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
