I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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