Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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