Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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