So drunk its hurt
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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