Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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