After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
