Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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