i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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