well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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