An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
be right there i have to get my cape
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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