i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
