Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
