He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
